Two Months Already?

It's true. We've been home for two months. Where does the time go? Things are really settling into "normal" here -- as normal as it can be when you've gone from a carefree, do-whatever-you-want-whenever-you-want lifestyle to one that involves ensuring your toddler doesn't swallow poison or strangle the cat. :-) Seriously, life is good, and we continue to try to stick to a routine that keeps us all sane.

We selected a day-care "school" for Max, and so far, we are very happy. It is a well-known franchised chain, and there happens to be a brand new school that opened in late July near our home. For now, he is attending on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and we are "winging it" on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That generally involves me staying home with Max in the morning, and Glenn coming home in the afternoon so I can either head to my home office or into the office to work. I am still able to spend some time at home as I still have some vacation to use. I know I will kick myself later if I do not take advantage of this time now with Max, so we try to work in some "quality" play time during those times together.

We have also "taken to the road" together most evenings, and Max and I head to a nearby five-mile walking path and make the loop together (I continue to love our jogging stroller, and Max seems to like it because it is roomy, he has plenty of area to rest his feet, etc.) We bring the Ipod and speakers, so as I jog and walk my way around the path, Max is jamming to tunes and taking in the scenery. Last night, we saw a deer and two rabbits on the trail, although I think I was more excited about those sightings than Max was! I am already dreading the daylight savings time change, as I am really enjoying this opportunity to get some exercise while Max is with me.

We have already noted an amazing increase in Max's speech since he has been in school. It is so funny to observe some of his new words and behaviors that we're pretty certain are being developed at school. He is definitely LOUDER now than before! Now that we can compare him to the other children in his class, it is relatively clear that he is behind in speech, but we will watch him continue to catch up and we will have him evaluated again in December. In the meantime, we do not worry and we are just having the best time ever as his parents.

We are carefully following the Kazakhstan adoption scene, both to support so many of those who supported us throughout the process, and because we are already considering starting the process again. We still cannot believe how blessed we are to have completed our adoption in one year, and we can't help but to plant kisses all over Max every time he is near because we know how fortunate we are. We are trying to carve out time to follow as many blogs as we can so that we can support those families with our comments and prayers. We'll close with a few photos -- lots of additional "firsts." We love this little guy!

It was "Olympics Day" at school, so Max proudly wore his USA gear, and I sewed a little Kazakhstan flag on the back of his t-shirt so he could brag to his peeps about Kazakhstan's medal haul as well!

We have a great county park nearby with a fun water area. Max and his BFF Eric had fun running through all of the water (thank you, Wendy, for the great day!). I thought Max's swim trunks had a drawstring, but I remebered once we were there that the string is for show. So, he spent most of the day with his swim trunks down around his ankles. Mother of the Year, I am not. :-) I remember reading on someone else's blog how they were discovering an entirely new side to their city now that they have a child. That is so true for us! I had no idea this park even existed until Wendy introduced it to us.

Taking in the sights at the Toledo Zoo -- a great visit with my family.

Max's first Happy Meal. I'm a bit of a fast food junkie, so it's somewhat of a miracle that we made it six weeks before he had his first bite of a McDonald's hamburger. Notice I did get the apple dippers instead of the fries. (Points for trying...) He ate the entire container of caramel sauce using the same slice of apple as his dipper -- without ever taking a bite from the apple. Did he have his fair share of apples at the baby house?
He won't eat them, now.
Max at his first Bengals game (a pre-season game), with two of my closest friends, Ben and Jerry (alas, not the famous ice cream dudes). Ben and Jerry moved to Rhode Island when Hasbro shut down its Cincinnati operations, and I miss them -- and the entire Hasbro gang -- so much. It was so great to introduce them to Max when they were in town for Ben's "bachelor party" weekend. Max won't be attending any other Bengals games -- it's just too loud, and given that it looks to be shaping up to be a dismal season, I can only imagine the obscene insults that will be slinging throughout the stadium this year.
Instead, Max will be enjoying his nap during the games (and if the season drags on, I may find myself napping with him come November and December!)

Godspeed, Ryan

We rarely blog about Jessica and Tyler, Glenn’s children from his first marriage, as we want to wholly respect their privacy. Also, we have had our share of “blended family” challenges over the last several years, and those experiences are often just too raw and personal to share on a public forum. We did everything we could to openly discuss the challenges that could accompany Max’s addition to our family, and the entire family is assimilating better than we could have ever imagined. Our prayers in that regard have been answered.

Jessica is 20 years old, and she and her boyfriend Ryan were planning a large wedding to take place in January, 2009. But, Ryan’s naval reserve unit was notified of its imminent deployment to Iraq, so they moved their wedding up and had a very small, private, but beautiful ceremony a few weeks ago. We’ve struggled with their interest in being married at such young ages, but they are both wonderful young adults and they love each other dearly, and we are surrounding them with love and support.

Max loves his brother and sister, but he loves AND idolizes his brother-in-law Ryan. Undoubtedly, it started because Ryan carries the hippest coolest cell phone and he lets Max play with it. Max even figured out how to make it play videos! But, Max has come to truly just adore Ryan, even when he isn’t carrying around Ryan’s cool phone.

Ryan left yesterday morning for Mississippi, where he will join his unit for final preparations before deploying to Iraq. We woke Max up at 5 AM to ensure that he would be a part of Ryan’s loving send-off at the Cincinnati airport. Ryan and Max shared the tightest hugs ever. We are so sad that Jessica has had to say good-bye to her husband, just weeks into their newlywed bliss, but we are so proud of Ryan for his commitment to helping Iraq rebuild. (He will likely be constructing new infrastructure). Max is already preparing to send his first of what will be regular care packages and updates to his idol. Max also looks forward to spending lots of time with his big sister Jessica, hoping to bring a smile to her face even while she misses her husband terribly.

Godspeed, Ryan. Max misses you already, and we will be praying for your unit’s safe and speedy return.

Catching Up - Our Fave Travel Items

We've been meaning to post a list of the items that we were happy to have packed for our first trip to Kaz. As a reminder, we were in The Shiny River Hotel in Ust for just about a month during our first trip. MUCH of this (unless otherwise noted) can be found eventually in a market or a store, but we were glad to have the items from the beginning.

• Clothes line and lots of clothes pins; had we stayed longer, we would have searched out the local laundry, but we got by with hand washing and hanging our clothes to dry.
  
• Crystal Light -- we drank tons and tons of bottled water (we'd go through a 5 liter bottle each day), and it was nice to have these mixes if you like them. We never saw anything like these in any store.
  
• Tide Pen To Go -- you can easily find detergent, etc., but not a Tide To Go Pen for emergencies.
• Duct tape.
  
• Big, big jar of peanut butter. Absolutely no peanut butter in Ust!
  
• Plastic forks and spoons -- We did not have easy access to utensils in our hotel room, and if we ever "borrowed" silver ware from the hotel restaurant, the housekeeper always confiscated it from us when she cleaned the room. :-)
  
• Mac and cheese envelopes, the kind you make in a microwave. We managed to make due with just boiling water, as we had an electric tea kettle in our room.
• Granola bars -- wish we would have taken even more than we did, and we took ALOT. We did find a granola bar-like item in the "Costco" store in Ust, but they were not the same.
  
• Two EuroSurger converters -- between charging cameras, camcorder, blackberry, and two laptops, both were in use constantly. We bought the converters from Magellan -- not cheap, but they never let us down.
  
• 50 foot phone cord. This enabled us to move the phone from next to the bed, to the other side of the room by the desk. Just your basic phone cord from WalMart, Target, etc., will be fine.
  
• Ice cube tray. If you have a refrigerator, it is nice to be able to make your own bottled water ice cubes.
  
• Lots of movies, but we also took alot of "sitcom" seasons on DVD. Many nights, we just wanted to wind down with an episode or two of Everyone Loves Raymond or something along those lines, vs. an entire movie.
• Phillips head screwdriver (for removing and installing batteries in kids' toys).
• Ziploc bags. We were always using them for something or another, but definitely available in the stores.
  
• IPod and IPod portable speakers.
• Safety pins.
• Sweet and Low or other types of artificial sweetener. If you use it, we never saw it in Ust.
  
• Febreeze -- the fabric kind. We used it as both an air freshener when our hotel room because a bit "stale" and as a "fabric" freshener for our bedspread, curtains, etc.
• Small notebook -- arrive with one, as you will be taking notes long before you get your bearings.
  
• Bug spray.
• Screen material. We ended up having screens in our windows, but if we hadn't, we would have taped screening material to our windows, as it was great to have the windows open in the Spring when we were there.
  

Where does the time go?! We’ve been home for one month, and the time is flying by. We continue to settle into a routine, although the routine we have now will be altered as I prepare to return to work. We’re both in complete denial, and we are only now starting to investigate day care options.

It’s strange, but we’re actually not overly worried about Max in day care (provided we find the BEST possible place, of course!). I took Max with me to church for the first time last week, and he hung out with me for the hour that I serve in the “one year old room” in Kids Club. He did so well and was so happy to be playing around other kids that I actually left him for a second hour with the next round of volunteers and I attended church. We attend a very large church, and when a child is not doing well in Kids Club for whatever reason, a couple of LCD displays flash the child’s assigned number inside of the auditorium so a parent can be alerted. I have to admit that I was just slightly distracted as I kept looking at my number, then the LCD display, then my number, then the LCD display, throughout the service. Of course, when I went to pick up Max after church ended, he was waving and blowing kisses to the volunteers, and he was downright giddy. We know he truly enjoys being with other children, or at least that’s the story we will keep repeating to ourselves when we drop him off at day care. ☺

A few people have asked about Max’s eating, sleeping, and general settling-in routine, so I’ll mention a few details. He is sleeping in his own crib in his own room through the night (knock on wood) and he takes an afternoon nap. He is a very sound sleeper, although he shifts around a lot in his sleep and can often be found sleeping with his little butt in the air or his feet hanging through the sides of the crib. He wakes up each morning between 8 and 9 (can you believe it?!), and he eats a big breakfast. We then spend the morning playing and “learning” – I try to focus some actual activities on some of the development areas that are slightly behind, so we do a lot of reading, singing, and talking together. We also use our mornings to visit friends or run the occasional errand. He eats lunch at Noon, and then we just play and hang out (indoors and outside) until nap time. He goes down for a nap at 2:00, and I am instantly at the computer and on the phone, working throughout his nap time. He wakes up between 4:30 and 5:00, and then we chill, and contemplate what we’ll have for dinner. We have been taking hour-long walks around 8:00 each night – we bought an In-Step Safari All-Terrain stroller, and I LOVE it -- and he goes to bed between 9:00 and 9:30. For both nap time and bed time, he sometimes fusses, and occasionally cries, but most times we hear him talking to himself and his toys and settling himself down over the course of a few minutes. There you have it – the true Hollywood story of a toddler. And yes, yes, yes, we do know how lucky we are that we have a child who sleeps when we want him to. ☺

Max is learning so many new things, and we have been working overtime to teach him how to go up and down the stairs. We have a two story house, and a finished basement where he keeps his “big” toys, and he arrived with zero skills in the stair-climing department. And, we have the “falling down a few stairs” stories to prove it!. He sorted out how to climb up relatively quickly, although he seems to think it is always a race as he pants and climbs as fast as possible. But, going down is a different story. For the first few weeks, he just wanted to take a step into thin air and hope for the best! I spent a lot of time crawling backwards down the stairs on my stomach with him standing at the top of the stairs laughing at me. He will finally come down the stairs backwards, but not without stopping every few steps and clapping for himself (I might have over-delivered the “cheering” part of our lessons). Of course, when he stands up to clap for himself, he wobbles a bit and appears ready to tumble down the stairs backwards! Needless to say, our lessons continue….

Of course, our routine is tossed aside at times, particularly during travel. We just returned this week having been away for six days – some planned, some not planned. Last weekend, we were in the Toledo area, visiting my Dad and his wife, my brother and his partner, and my mom. I’m from Toledo, so the trip was also planned during a time that two of my high school friends were in town (one from Poland, and one from Washington DC). Glenn and Max had a boys’ night one evening and I had dinner with four friends who were my closest friends during high school. It was a great “grown-up” evening (i.e. no high chair at the table), and I was reminded yet again of the Girl Scout mantra: “Make new friends, but keep the old, as one is silver and the other gold.” I have many wonderful “silver” friends – including so many new amazing friends who have come into our lives during our adoption journey – but there is true joy in an evening out with those golden friends.

My father and his wife live on a small private lake just over the Michigan border, and Max could have spent days there just staring at the boats and the water. Isn’t it amazing to watch our children experience so many firsts?! Unfortunately, because of the rain and the humidity, the mosquitoes were the worst I’ve ever seen them at the lake. We had to literally run from the car to the house, so Max did not get to go boating. My Dad was kind enough to purchase Max his first life preserver – Michigan has very strict life preserver rules for children, and comfort is obviously not a priority. You can see how happy he was modeling his life jacket in the picture below! We had a great day, joined by my brother and his partner, and we can’t wait to visit again when we can get out on the water.

Later that evening, we headed to my mom’s house, and she was kind enough to hang out with Max for three hours while Glenn and I raced to a nearby golf course to play nine holes of golf. It started raining while we were playing, but nothing was going to stop us from enjoying this rare “date” together. (The rain scene from Caddyshack came to mind). Despite living three hours away, my Mom has been able to spend a lot of time with Max already, and he seemed to love his time at her house – no tears or anything.

While we were in Toledo, my aunt’s health took a bad turn. While we were in Kaz the second time, my aunt was diagnosed with terminal cancer. As such, we had planned a late August trip to visit her in Minnesota. My aunt (my mom’s sister) never married or had children, and she has always been so generous and supportive of my brother and me. It was so important to me that she meet Max, so we drove home from Toledo Sunday night, and Monday morning Max and I boarded a plane to Minnesota. My mom and my brother flew to Cinci from Toledo, and then we all flew into Minneapolis together. We visited my aunt Monday night, but she was sleeping and otherwise non-responsive. Max sat on her bed and stroked her arm and I am hopeful she knew he was there. We returned to visit her again on Tuesday, with my other aunt and uncle who drove in from Ann Arbor, and while we surrounded her and stroked her hands and arms, she died. It was as if she waited for all of us to be there, and then she knew that she could move on to bigger and better things. I will forever be grateful that we were all there with her, and I will forever hope that she knew Max was there and felt his presence. Of course, I know now that he has a very special angel looking out for him.

For that six day stretch, Max was an amazing traveler. He is a master at just “going with the flow.” The poor thing was in and out of his car seat and stroller and restaurant high chairs for six straight days, and other than some minor struggles with falling asleep in the hotel rooms in the pack-n-play (thanks for lending it to us, Heather!), he never cried or whined, let alone melted down. He was very good on the plane (if you don’t count pooping twice on a 90 minute flight – that was so fun to change him in the tiniest commuter airplane bathroom ever that did not include one of those pull-down diaper tables), and we learned that as long as he can look out the window, he is happy.

He brings us so much joy every single day, but the joy he brought to my entire family in the hours and days following my aunt’s death is indescribable.

That’s the thing about having a child – life goes on. In fact, we had long-standing plans to go to the zoo on Thursday that week, so we flew home Wednesday night, and we were off to the zoo on Thursday. One of our staunchest blog supporters during our Kaz trips was my “little sister” Salina. Salina and I met through Big Brothers Big Sisters when she was 6 years old, and she is now an amazing young woman and mother of two amazing kids, Austin (6) and Zoe (3). Austin and Zoe will always be considered Max’s cousins. They live about two hours away, outside of Lexington, KY, and they drove up to Cincinnati to meet us for our zoo visit. Max loved the animals, and repeated his favorite word, “WOW!” at the top of his lungs dozens of times.

Before we close this post (and get to the REAL content -- the photos!), we must send our best wishes to Susan and her family, who are in Kaz right now meeting their baby daughter (one of Max’s many future girlfriends). Susan has supported us and many, many other families as she and her family patiently waited for their call to Kaz. We are thrilled for her and we keep her and all of the families who are taking this same journey in our thoughts and prayers. The adoption journey is filled with so many ups and downs – with a few additional downs right now as things are slower both with the Kaz process and the summer – and we never ever forget how blessed we are to be home with our amazing son.

Max isn't crazy about his little pool, but he does love the sprinkler and the hose.

We attended church with my mom at the Toledo church where she serves part-time. This congregation has been praying for us for an entire year, and we were able to stand up with Max in our arms during church and thank them. Yes, I started crying. ☺ My mom then held an informal receiving line of sorts as church ended, and everyone was able to meet Max. We took this family photo afterwards. (Max was happier for most of the visit, but by the end, he made it clear that he was finished being "Mr. Personality.")

Austin, Max, and Zoe at the zoo.

Life-preserver angst.

Uncle Jerry and Aunt Wendy sent him some cool clothes, including this t-shirt. Uncle Jerry works for Hasbro (my former employer when Boys Toys/Kenner was in Cincinnati), so Max will undoubtedly always have his fair share of Hasbro toys and accoutrements.

So, we thought it was crazy to see our kids eating with big giant spoons while wrapped in towels at the Baby House. But, the thing is, Max LOVES soup, and it turns out that this culinary process works out pretty well! Some things never change.