Ben Franklin, My Hero

We’re back. Thank you so much for all of the supportive (and funny) comments. I never thought we'd share something else in common -- hurricanes -- with Matt and Suz and Joe and Susan and Sandi and our other Florida friends! Our electricity came back on Thursday night at 9 PM, so we were without power for 4 ½ days. We watched the utility men repair the “blown fuse” at the end of our street --- it took 10 minutes to repair. So, when we share our power outage story (as everyone in this city is doing this week), our story is “four and a half days plus 10 minutes.” We have so much compassion for the families and businesses in the Houston and Galveston area. I hugged my refrigerator for an hour (okay, maybe a minute) after the power came back on (as did Max, since he mimics EVERYTHING I do) – I cannot imagine the challenges for our friends down south who are STILL without power. They are all in our thoughts.

So, back to our lives …. If you’re an avid blog stalker, you’ve already read about two of our highlights at the end of this summer – meeting two families who we came to know through this amazing blogging sub-culture. Of the three Karens – Kentucky Karen, Minnesota Karen, and Ohio Karen – I am the blog slacker, so while they both were great about posting stories about our get-togethers immediately thereafter, here I sit FINALLY telling my side to the story! ☺

Kentucky Karen and I have been trying to get together for months, even having something on our calendars last winter (which was to include the also famous Muriel and her beloved Sophie). Mother Nature intervened with those plans, dumping a blizzard’s worth of snow on Cincinnati that weekend. We didn’t give up (or should I say, Karen didn’t give up on ME!), and Karen and Nick headed our way in the week following Labor Day. Karen and husband Pat have been such an inspiration for not only Glenn and me, but for many other families who have any connection to Kazakhstan or toddler adoption. Her blog entries are a perfect combination of honesty and humor – just enough honesty to help us all keep our eyes wide open, but just enough humor to keep us all from giving up. I felt like I already knew Nick, but of course, he is a gazillion times more impressive and cute and FUNNY in person than could ever be represented in print. It is so much fun to talk to him, and he communicates with so much imagination and flair. Of course, at that age, you can also pick up nuggets of insight that you can be relatively certain were planted by parents. For example, as we were driving, Nick announced, “I not scream – it hard to drive when I scream.” Gee, I wonder who told him that?! ☺

Max was enamored with Nick. He literally could not take his eyes off of him. So, in most of our pics, Nick is looking at least somewhat towards the camera, and Max is looking at Nick. Karen posted a couple of photos on her site, but I don’t think she caught any pictures while they played the piano together. (If I recall, that is when she was completing the monstrous job of moving Nick’s car seat to my car – something I am so thankful she was willing to do, as our car time turned out to be great conversation time).

I think Nick was telling me, "You have two more chances to get a picture of both of us looking at you." It didn't matter if I had 100 chances -- I never did get a perfect shot!

I wish they were looking at the camera, but aren't they adorable just the same?

What Karen was so generous NOT to mention on her blog is that I pulled one of my many “not going to be mother of the year” moments when she was in town. I made these big plans for all of us to go to a park with a bunch of water features for a picnic lunch and play (after visiting Jungle Jim’s, Cincinnati’s famous international grocery store – yummy!). It never occurred to me – given that I am only now getting into “mother mode” – that these types of water park places close after Labor Day. Ooops! I am not kidding when I say that we drove half-way around Cincinnati to get to the park, only to find it closed for the season. Being the brilliant mother that she is, Karen just whispered to me, “Don’t mention water”, and we got out of the car, ate our picnic lunches under a tree near a playground set, and pretended we were never going to a water park (despite having talked about it A LOT with the kids prior to arriving). Nick did catch on, but Karen in her brilliance re-directed his attention to the playground equipment and we carried on with our day. I was so embarrassed, but was simultaneously further reminded why Karen and I clicked from the beginning. She’s amazing, insightful, forgiving, and downright fun, and it’s no wonder that Nick is the coolest kid. (We can’t wait to meet Pat during our next get-together).

Having had such a wonderful time hanging with a blogger friend whom I'd never met before, I decided to post a comment on Minnesota Karen’s blog a few days later. Max and I were about to travel to Minnesota for the memorial service for my Aunt Barb, who passed away in late July. (My aunt had been a teacher in the same district since the early 80s, so her friends and our family purposely delayed her service until the school year began, giving more people the chance to share their memories. I’ll blog separately about that beautiful service soon). I knew that Max and I would have a free evening in the Minneapolis area, so I suggested in my comment on Karen’s blog that perhaps we could all get together.

And, of course, Minnesota Karen, wife to fabulous Bob and Mom to the gorgeous Garrett, wrote back to me immediately. She generously offered to meet us at our hotel, and the plans were solidified.

I fell in love with Garrett the second he came running into the hotel lobby. Karen has posted before about how she thinks Garrett is cuter in person than in pics, which I found impossible to believe, as he is adorable in photos! Well, I now have first-hand knowledge that he is stunning. He has the most amazing eyes and an infectious smile and the most beautiful skin. He is going to have the girls flocking all over him. (I already have a crush on him – HA!) As was the case with Nick, it’s almost too hard to believe how quickly Garrett has learned to communicate in English. These kids are mini-miracles, every one of them. We headed off to Chili’s, where our usually flexible child became Melt-Down Max. We keep Max on a pretty tight nap schedule, but we’d flown in that day, and other than a quick nap in the car on the way to the hotel from the airport, he was nap-less. And, it showed.

I am convinced that if your child is having a melt-down, you can be in no better company than another Kazak adoptive family. I think we have all developed an extra layer of empathy and compassion that otherwise may not exist. Bob (who will here-to-fore be known as Bob-The-Great) helped keep an eye on Max, who was only happy being either half-way under the table, tangled within the wood-slat window blinds, or affixed to Bob’s side with a hand on his leg. Bob seemed to have the better angle for viewing some of this, and it gave Karen and me slightly more opportunity for eye contact across the table while sharing stories. And what was Garrett doing? Eating, playing, talking, and otherwise being the best behaved child on the planet. I still smile as I type this – despite the Max chaos, it was such a fantastic evening out. Our trip to Minnesota was so bittersweet, as we continue to mourn my Aunt’s unexpected death, and I am so thankful that our trip included our time with the KaBobs.

Happy Garrett.

Happy Garrett scooting as far away as possible from the screaming, crying Max. I think I saw a few other patrons doing just the same. HA!

I am certain that Bob and Glenn would get along famously, and I want the KaBobs to move to Cincinnati tomorrow. ☺



As a new season is upon us, we, too, have entered into the next chapter of our journey. I’m back at work full-time, and we’re all settling in to the routine that is likely to be our “normal” for awhile (which is much easier to do with electricity). Like millions of working moms before me, I have daily struggles with the balance. I’ve been a work-a-holic for over 20 years, and it is just plain weird to come to terms with the fact that I can’t “finish that up tonight” or “work all day Sunday”, as I’ve been able to do for my entire career. Of course, there’s no greater joy than walking through the door to hugs, kisses, and “MaMa!” (which is actually more like “PaMa”), but to be honest I am still feeling discombobulated as I readjust to my new routine.

And then, there is our sweet, adorable, now 21-month-old Max, who….

• Has started to give us the biggest tightest hugs, just because…I sometimes come close to crying, as these are just the sweetest moments ever.
• Loves to sit and read books together. This is new – he liked to turn pages before, but now he really seems to get into the story.
• Loves school – he is truly happy to arrive, and not all that happy to leave (they definitely have more toys than we do -- HA!)
• Will sleep until 9:30 on the weekends (don’t hate me), especially if he has been up a bit late the evening before.
• Says a new word almost every day, and even speaks now when he signs (vs. ONLY signing in the beginning – which worried me enough that I quit teaching him new signs).
• Loves to kick a soccer ball around the house. The cat sometimes plays along.
• Favors his left-hand for eating, throwing, etc.
• Knows more toddler songs than I do, because they sing a lot at school. I hadn’t gotten around to adding “Wheels on the Bus” yet to my budding repertoire, but I put a CD in the other day that included that song, and he knew every single hand motion. Great news -- he’s already smarter than I am.
• Is a very unpredictable eater. There are three things he’ll never turn down – milk infused with Carnation Instant Breakfast (at every meal, as encouraged by the pediatrician, since it's spiked with nutrients), mashed potatoes, and oatmeal. Otherwise, one never knows. He’ll eat three big meals one day, and the next day he’ll lose all interest in food (other than his milk) from breakfast onward. We try not to let him survive on mashed potatoes alone, but some days it’s tempting. ☺
• Will still ride in his jogging stroller forever, humming along to the IPod tunes (we carry a speaker), pointing out nature, and waving to all who we pass. Just this week, I met up with my NCSU/Raleigh friend Dawn, who was in Columbus on business – we met halfway between Cinci and Columbus, at an abandoned outlet mall, and we walked and walked and walked for almost three hours around and around this parking area, giving us a chance to catch up and nab some exercise at the same time. He chatted along with us, pointed out airplanes (and eventually stars), drank from his sippy cup, played with his shoes and socks, and was the trooper that he typically is, for all that time, without ever so much as one unhappy moment. (I think he was also riding high because Dawn brought him the cutest little NCSU t-shirt, and he already loves the Wolfpack like his Mama).
• Is the absolute joy of our lives.

P.S. Regarding the title to this post ... I know that Ben Franklin didn't necessarily "invent" electricity, but in my little world, he did enough to ensure that I'd have power last week, so I'm giving him the credit just the same. ☺

Where are we?!

We have so much to write about, so why haven't we written? Hurricane Ike in Cincinnati, that's why! Seriously, who would have thought that we'd have to worry about a hurricane in Ohio, but the winds whipped through here with such severity and sustainability on Sunday that it knocked out power to 85% of Cincinnati and the surrounding area. And, we happen to be one of those homes that is still without power -- four days and counting.

I have so much to write about -- the meeting of the Karens (and families), my aunt's amazing memorial service, my first week back at work full-time, the woeful Bengals ... and oh right, the reason you check in to begin with -- the amazing Max! Max, by the way, doesn't seem to mind walking around in the dark. He's just an amazing kid who goes with the flow -- even if that means eating strange dinners and reading books by candlelight.

As the storm blew through (no rain, just wind), we were at the Bengals game, having hired a babysitter for THE FIRST TIME EVER. She hunkered down inside of the house with Max as the winds howled, the limbs crashed into our house, and the electricity went out. We had NO IDEA how bad it was, since we were in the stadium -- until we were on our way home. It wasn't until she texted me, "Is it bad if there are wires down in your front yard?" that we realized we needed to come home. (We may never see her again -- although I did give her alot of extra $ for the stress we put her through!)

So, we have no cable, no Internet, no lights, etc., and my evenings of blog updating and stalking are on hold for the time being. I am trying to keep my nose to the grindstone at work so I can rush home in a timely fashion while I still have a few hours of daylight to get anything accomplished, so not much personal time at work, either.

We're making due with our gas grill, and primarily canned goods. The grocery stores have little "fresh" food since they all lost power, too, and they had to toss anything that required refrigeration. We tossed the contents of the refrigerator and freezer yesterday, but it's still quite easy to cook canned soup in a pot on the grill. :-) We're keeping milk on ice in the cooler, so Max has his comfort drink and all is fine in his world.

As soon as our camping experience comes to a close, we promise to catch up with everyone.

Two Months Already?

It's true. We've been home for two months. Where does the time go? Things are really settling into "normal" here -- as normal as it can be when you've gone from a carefree, do-whatever-you-want-whenever-you-want lifestyle to one that involves ensuring your toddler doesn't swallow poison or strangle the cat. :-) Seriously, life is good, and we continue to try to stick to a routine that keeps us all sane.

We selected a day-care "school" for Max, and so far, we are very happy. It is a well-known franchised chain, and there happens to be a brand new school that opened in late July near our home. For now, he is attending on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and we are "winging it" on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That generally involves me staying home with Max in the morning, and Glenn coming home in the afternoon so I can either head to my home office or into the office to work. I am still able to spend some time at home as I still have some vacation to use. I know I will kick myself later if I do not take advantage of this time now with Max, so we try to work in some "quality" play time during those times together.

We have also "taken to the road" together most evenings, and Max and I head to a nearby five-mile walking path and make the loop together (I continue to love our jogging stroller, and Max seems to like it because it is roomy, he has plenty of area to rest his feet, etc.) We bring the Ipod and speakers, so as I jog and walk my way around the path, Max is jamming to tunes and taking in the scenery. Last night, we saw a deer and two rabbits on the trail, although I think I was more excited about those sightings than Max was! I am already dreading the daylight savings time change, as I am really enjoying this opportunity to get some exercise while Max is with me.

We have already noted an amazing increase in Max's speech since he has been in school. It is so funny to observe some of his new words and behaviors that we're pretty certain are being developed at school. He is definitely LOUDER now than before! Now that we can compare him to the other children in his class, it is relatively clear that he is behind in speech, but we will watch him continue to catch up and we will have him evaluated again in December. In the meantime, we do not worry and we are just having the best time ever as his parents.

We are carefully following the Kazakhstan adoption scene, both to support so many of those who supported us throughout the process, and because we are already considering starting the process again. We still cannot believe how blessed we are to have completed our adoption in one year, and we can't help but to plant kisses all over Max every time he is near because we know how fortunate we are. We are trying to carve out time to follow as many blogs as we can so that we can support those families with our comments and prayers. We'll close with a few photos -- lots of additional "firsts." We love this little guy!

It was "Olympics Day" at school, so Max proudly wore his USA gear, and I sewed a little Kazakhstan flag on the back of his t-shirt so he could brag to his peeps about Kazakhstan's medal haul as well!

We have a great county park nearby with a fun water area. Max and his BFF Eric had fun running through all of the water (thank you, Wendy, for the great day!). I thought Max's swim trunks had a drawstring, but I remebered once we were there that the string is for show. So, he spent most of the day with his swim trunks down around his ankles. Mother of the Year, I am not. :-) I remember reading on someone else's blog how they were discovering an entirely new side to their city now that they have a child. That is so true for us! I had no idea this park even existed until Wendy introduced it to us.

Taking in the sights at the Toledo Zoo -- a great visit with my family.

Max's first Happy Meal. I'm a bit of a fast food junkie, so it's somewhat of a miracle that we made it six weeks before he had his first bite of a McDonald's hamburger. Notice I did get the apple dippers instead of the fries. (Points for trying...) He ate the entire container of caramel sauce using the same slice of apple as his dipper -- without ever taking a bite from the apple. Did he have his fair share of apples at the baby house?
He won't eat them, now.
Max at his first Bengals game (a pre-season game), with two of my closest friends, Ben and Jerry (alas, not the famous ice cream dudes). Ben and Jerry moved to Rhode Island when Hasbro shut down its Cincinnati operations, and I miss them -- and the entire Hasbro gang -- so much. It was so great to introduce them to Max when they were in town for Ben's "bachelor party" weekend. Max won't be attending any other Bengals games -- it's just too loud, and given that it looks to be shaping up to be a dismal season, I can only imagine the obscene insults that will be slinging throughout the stadium this year.
Instead, Max will be enjoying his nap during the games (and if the season drags on, I may find myself napping with him come November and December!)

Godspeed, Ryan

We rarely blog about Jessica and Tyler, Glenn’s children from his first marriage, as we want to wholly respect their privacy. Also, we have had our share of “blended family” challenges over the last several years, and those experiences are often just too raw and personal to share on a public forum. We did everything we could to openly discuss the challenges that could accompany Max’s addition to our family, and the entire family is assimilating better than we could have ever imagined. Our prayers in that regard have been answered.

Jessica is 20 years old, and she and her boyfriend Ryan were planning a large wedding to take place in January, 2009. But, Ryan’s naval reserve unit was notified of its imminent deployment to Iraq, so they moved their wedding up and had a very small, private, but beautiful ceremony a few weeks ago. We’ve struggled with their interest in being married at such young ages, but they are both wonderful young adults and they love each other dearly, and we are surrounding them with love and support.

Max loves his brother and sister, but he loves AND idolizes his brother-in-law Ryan. Undoubtedly, it started because Ryan carries the hippest coolest cell phone and he lets Max play with it. Max even figured out how to make it play videos! But, Max has come to truly just adore Ryan, even when he isn’t carrying around Ryan’s cool phone.

Ryan left yesterday morning for Mississippi, where he will join his unit for final preparations before deploying to Iraq. We woke Max up at 5 AM to ensure that he would be a part of Ryan’s loving send-off at the Cincinnati airport. Ryan and Max shared the tightest hugs ever. We are so sad that Jessica has had to say good-bye to her husband, just weeks into their newlywed bliss, but we are so proud of Ryan for his commitment to helping Iraq rebuild. (He will likely be constructing new infrastructure). Max is already preparing to send his first of what will be regular care packages and updates to his idol. Max also looks forward to spending lots of time with his big sister Jessica, hoping to bring a smile to her face even while she misses her husband terribly.

Godspeed, Ryan. Max misses you already, and we will be praying for your unit’s safe and speedy return.

Catching Up - Our Fave Travel Items

We've been meaning to post a list of the items that we were happy to have packed for our first trip to Kaz. As a reminder, we were in The Shiny River Hotel in Ust for just about a month during our first trip. MUCH of this (unless otherwise noted) can be found eventually in a market or a store, but we were glad to have the items from the beginning.

• Clothes line and lots of clothes pins; had we stayed longer, we would have searched out the local laundry, but we got by with hand washing and hanging our clothes to dry.
  
• Crystal Light -- we drank tons and tons of bottled water (we'd go through a 5 liter bottle each day), and it was nice to have these mixes if you like them. We never saw anything like these in any store.
  
• Tide Pen To Go -- you can easily find detergent, etc., but not a Tide To Go Pen for emergencies.
• Duct tape.
  
• Big, big jar of peanut butter. Absolutely no peanut butter in Ust!
  
• Plastic forks and spoons -- We did not have easy access to utensils in our hotel room, and if we ever "borrowed" silver ware from the hotel restaurant, the housekeeper always confiscated it from us when she cleaned the room. :-)
  
• Mac and cheese envelopes, the kind you make in a microwave. We managed to make due with just boiling water, as we had an electric tea kettle in our room.
• Granola bars -- wish we would have taken even more than we did, and we took ALOT. We did find a granola bar-like item in the "Costco" store in Ust, but they were not the same.
  
• Two EuroSurger converters -- between charging cameras, camcorder, blackberry, and two laptops, both were in use constantly. We bought the converters from Magellan -- not cheap, but they never let us down.
  
• 50 foot phone cord. This enabled us to move the phone from next to the bed, to the other side of the room by the desk. Just your basic phone cord from WalMart, Target, etc., will be fine.
  
• Ice cube tray. If you have a refrigerator, it is nice to be able to make your own bottled water ice cubes.
  
• Lots of movies, but we also took alot of "sitcom" seasons on DVD. Many nights, we just wanted to wind down with an episode or two of Everyone Loves Raymond or something along those lines, vs. an entire movie.
• Phillips head screwdriver (for removing and installing batteries in kids' toys).
• Ziploc bags. We were always using them for something or another, but definitely available in the stores.
  
• IPod and IPod portable speakers.
• Safety pins.
• Sweet and Low or other types of artificial sweetener. If you use it, we never saw it in Ust.
  
• Febreeze -- the fabric kind. We used it as both an air freshener when our hotel room because a bit "stale" and as a "fabric" freshener for our bedspread, curtains, etc.
• Small notebook -- arrive with one, as you will be taking notes long before you get your bearings.
  
• Bug spray.
• Screen material. We ended up having screens in our windows, but if we hadn't, we would have taped screening material to our windows, as it was great to have the windows open in the Spring when we were there.
  

Where does the time go?! We’ve been home for one month, and the time is flying by. We continue to settle into a routine, although the routine we have now will be altered as I prepare to return to work. We’re both in complete denial, and we are only now starting to investigate day care options.

It’s strange, but we’re actually not overly worried about Max in day care (provided we find the BEST possible place, of course!). I took Max with me to church for the first time last week, and he hung out with me for the hour that I serve in the “one year old room” in Kids Club. He did so well and was so happy to be playing around other kids that I actually left him for a second hour with the next round of volunteers and I attended church. We attend a very large church, and when a child is not doing well in Kids Club for whatever reason, a couple of LCD displays flash the child’s assigned number inside of the auditorium so a parent can be alerted. I have to admit that I was just slightly distracted as I kept looking at my number, then the LCD display, then my number, then the LCD display, throughout the service. Of course, when I went to pick up Max after church ended, he was waving and blowing kisses to the volunteers, and he was downright giddy. We know he truly enjoys being with other children, or at least that’s the story we will keep repeating to ourselves when we drop him off at day care. ☺

A few people have asked about Max’s eating, sleeping, and general settling-in routine, so I’ll mention a few details. He is sleeping in his own crib in his own room through the night (knock on wood) and he takes an afternoon nap. He is a very sound sleeper, although he shifts around a lot in his sleep and can often be found sleeping with his little butt in the air or his feet hanging through the sides of the crib. He wakes up each morning between 8 and 9 (can you believe it?!), and he eats a big breakfast. We then spend the morning playing and “learning” – I try to focus some actual activities on some of the development areas that are slightly behind, so we do a lot of reading, singing, and talking together. We also use our mornings to visit friends or run the occasional errand. He eats lunch at Noon, and then we just play and hang out (indoors and outside) until nap time. He goes down for a nap at 2:00, and I am instantly at the computer and on the phone, working throughout his nap time. He wakes up between 4:30 and 5:00, and then we chill, and contemplate what we’ll have for dinner. We have been taking hour-long walks around 8:00 each night – we bought an In-Step Safari All-Terrain stroller, and I LOVE it -- and he goes to bed between 9:00 and 9:30. For both nap time and bed time, he sometimes fusses, and occasionally cries, but most times we hear him talking to himself and his toys and settling himself down over the course of a few minutes. There you have it – the true Hollywood story of a toddler. And yes, yes, yes, we do know how lucky we are that we have a child who sleeps when we want him to. ☺

Max is learning so many new things, and we have been working overtime to teach him how to go up and down the stairs. We have a two story house, and a finished basement where he keeps his “big” toys, and he arrived with zero skills in the stair-climing department. And, we have the “falling down a few stairs” stories to prove it!. He sorted out how to climb up relatively quickly, although he seems to think it is always a race as he pants and climbs as fast as possible. But, going down is a different story. For the first few weeks, he just wanted to take a step into thin air and hope for the best! I spent a lot of time crawling backwards down the stairs on my stomach with him standing at the top of the stairs laughing at me. He will finally come down the stairs backwards, but not without stopping every few steps and clapping for himself (I might have over-delivered the “cheering” part of our lessons). Of course, when he stands up to clap for himself, he wobbles a bit and appears ready to tumble down the stairs backwards! Needless to say, our lessons continue….

Of course, our routine is tossed aside at times, particularly during travel. We just returned this week having been away for six days – some planned, some not planned. Last weekend, we were in the Toledo area, visiting my Dad and his wife, my brother and his partner, and my mom. I’m from Toledo, so the trip was also planned during a time that two of my high school friends were in town (one from Poland, and one from Washington DC). Glenn and Max had a boys’ night one evening and I had dinner with four friends who were my closest friends during high school. It was a great “grown-up” evening (i.e. no high chair at the table), and I was reminded yet again of the Girl Scout mantra: “Make new friends, but keep the old, as one is silver and the other gold.” I have many wonderful “silver” friends – including so many new amazing friends who have come into our lives during our adoption journey – but there is true joy in an evening out with those golden friends.

My father and his wife live on a small private lake just over the Michigan border, and Max could have spent days there just staring at the boats and the water. Isn’t it amazing to watch our children experience so many firsts?! Unfortunately, because of the rain and the humidity, the mosquitoes were the worst I’ve ever seen them at the lake. We had to literally run from the car to the house, so Max did not get to go boating. My Dad was kind enough to purchase Max his first life preserver – Michigan has very strict life preserver rules for children, and comfort is obviously not a priority. You can see how happy he was modeling his life jacket in the picture below! We had a great day, joined by my brother and his partner, and we can’t wait to visit again when we can get out on the water.

Later that evening, we headed to my mom’s house, and she was kind enough to hang out with Max for three hours while Glenn and I raced to a nearby golf course to play nine holes of golf. It started raining while we were playing, but nothing was going to stop us from enjoying this rare “date” together. (The rain scene from Caddyshack came to mind). Despite living three hours away, my Mom has been able to spend a lot of time with Max already, and he seemed to love his time at her house – no tears or anything.

While we were in Toledo, my aunt’s health took a bad turn. While we were in Kaz the second time, my aunt was diagnosed with terminal cancer. As such, we had planned a late August trip to visit her in Minnesota. My aunt (my mom’s sister) never married or had children, and she has always been so generous and supportive of my brother and me. It was so important to me that she meet Max, so we drove home from Toledo Sunday night, and Monday morning Max and I boarded a plane to Minnesota. My mom and my brother flew to Cinci from Toledo, and then we all flew into Minneapolis together. We visited my aunt Monday night, but she was sleeping and otherwise non-responsive. Max sat on her bed and stroked her arm and I am hopeful she knew he was there. We returned to visit her again on Tuesday, with my other aunt and uncle who drove in from Ann Arbor, and while we surrounded her and stroked her hands and arms, she died. It was as if she waited for all of us to be there, and then she knew that she could move on to bigger and better things. I will forever be grateful that we were all there with her, and I will forever hope that she knew Max was there and felt his presence. Of course, I know now that he has a very special angel looking out for him.

For that six day stretch, Max was an amazing traveler. He is a master at just “going with the flow.” The poor thing was in and out of his car seat and stroller and restaurant high chairs for six straight days, and other than some minor struggles with falling asleep in the hotel rooms in the pack-n-play (thanks for lending it to us, Heather!), he never cried or whined, let alone melted down. He was very good on the plane (if you don’t count pooping twice on a 90 minute flight – that was so fun to change him in the tiniest commuter airplane bathroom ever that did not include one of those pull-down diaper tables), and we learned that as long as he can look out the window, he is happy.

He brings us so much joy every single day, but the joy he brought to my entire family in the hours and days following my aunt’s death is indescribable.

That’s the thing about having a child – life goes on. In fact, we had long-standing plans to go to the zoo on Thursday that week, so we flew home Wednesday night, and we were off to the zoo on Thursday. One of our staunchest blog supporters during our Kaz trips was my “little sister” Salina. Salina and I met through Big Brothers Big Sisters when she was 6 years old, and she is now an amazing young woman and mother of two amazing kids, Austin (6) and Zoe (3). Austin and Zoe will always be considered Max’s cousins. They live about two hours away, outside of Lexington, KY, and they drove up to Cincinnati to meet us for our zoo visit. Max loved the animals, and repeated his favorite word, “WOW!” at the top of his lungs dozens of times.

Before we close this post (and get to the REAL content -- the photos!), we must send our best wishes to Susan and her family, who are in Kaz right now meeting their baby daughter (one of Max’s many future girlfriends). Susan has supported us and many, many other families as she and her family patiently waited for their call to Kaz. We are thrilled for her and we keep her and all of the families who are taking this same journey in our thoughts and prayers. The adoption journey is filled with so many ups and downs – with a few additional downs right now as things are slower both with the Kaz process and the summer – and we never ever forget how blessed we are to be home with our amazing son.

Max isn't crazy about his little pool, but he does love the sprinkler and the hose.

We attended church with my mom at the Toledo church where she serves part-time. This congregation has been praying for us for an entire year, and we were able to stand up with Max in our arms during church and thank them. Yes, I started crying. ☺ My mom then held an informal receiving line of sorts as church ended, and everyone was able to meet Max. We took this family photo afterwards. (Max was happier for most of the visit, but by the end, he made it clear that he was finished being "Mr. Personality.")

Austin, Max, and Zoe at the zoo.

Life-preserver angst.

Uncle Jerry and Aunt Wendy sent him some cool clothes, including this t-shirt. Uncle Jerry works for Hasbro (my former employer when Boys Toys/Kenner was in Cincinnati), so Max will undoubtedly always have his fair share of Hasbro toys and accoutrements.

So, we thought it was crazy to see our kids eating with big giant spoons while wrapped in towels at the Baby House. But, the thing is, Max LOVES soup, and it turns out that this culinary process works out pretty well! Some things never change.

All settled in...

It’s hard to believe that we’ve been home for two weeks. It’s been amazing, and of course, in many ways it has been nothing like we’d imagined it’d be.

During our waiting, we continued our research, attended great classes at the International Adoption Clinic at Cincinnati’s Children’s Hospital, and talked at length about how our first few weeks would proceed, given our focus on Max and attachment. We had planned to “hunker down”, giving all of us time to adjust to one another. No outside trips, very limited visits, no sensory overloads, etc., etc., etc.

So much for planning.

Max is completely and totally attached to us, and he is very discriminatory with regards to who can hold him or get close to him (virtually no one but Glenn or me). And, unless something presents itself in the near future, we have to proudly announce that Max has adjusted to his new home and life almost immediately, leaving his parents in his dust as we continue to adjust to our new lives!

So, instead of staying behind closed doors, we have had an amazing run of firsts, including:

• First Reds game (loved it, and was loved by everyone around him)
• First fireworks display (clapped his hands, shouted out with glee, and danced around to the music)
• First visit to both of our offices (a charmer)
• First US haircut (his bangs were hanging straight down his forehead, and he was just a bit shaggy)
• First trip to Target (likes grocery carts provided I hand him everything so that he can put the items into the cart behind him – a bit tricky with eggs)
• First trip to the grocery store (something I swore we would NEVER do because of over-stimulation)
• First meeting with Boomer, our dog (in keeping with her behavior towards the cat, Boomer ignores Max, and Max follows Boomer around practicing to “be gentle” while he air-pets Boomer from about 6 inches away)
• First bonding with G-Ma (my mom … by her third day, he did allow her to hold him, and he was visibly sad while waving good-bye to her at the end of her visit)
• First birthday party (ugh … I am still not a big fan of little kids’ birthday parties – so this is going to be a big adjustment for me….but he seemed to love it)
• First English word ("Tiger", the cat’s name; can also now say "hi" and "uh-oh" and "quack quack". I am relatively certain I have belted out "Old McDonald" 7000 times already.)
• First wedding anniversary (okay, that isn’t necessarily directly related to Max, but hello – could there be a better first year anniversary present than this adorable bundle of joy?!)
• First visit to the doctor (more on that in a minute)

Every day, multiple times each day, Max amazes us. He is truly a funny kid, and he has a plethora of facial expressions, verbal expressions, and hand gestures that keep us in stitches. He has an amazing imagination, and he likes to pretend to pick things up or take things from his pocket and hand them to us. He also walks around with a giraffe from his Noah’s Ark toy, and he shakes him upside down into our hands, and then encourages us to eat whatever it is that he is shaking out of the giraffe’s head. If we didn’t know any better, we would think he had a giraffe-shaped salt shaker at the Baby House – that’s the hand motion that he makes with the giraffe (and it’s only the giraffe). Our current favorite pantomime is when he pretends to pick up a really heavy box (complete with the heavy grunting and sighing as he lifts it up), and then he walks to each of us to hand us something from the box.

He also loves music, and he gets his little “show hands” moving and his little booty shaking to all types of music. We play everything from Baby Genius sing-along DVDs and CDs (thank you Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Carla) to Disney Mania (“music stars sing Disney”), and he babbles and dances along.

Another big surprise has been his transition from “screaming while maintaining a death grip on the edge of the tub” to “whining and crying when I make him get out of the tub.” This transition took three days. I credit the 99-cent rubber duckie from Target. He now loves his bath time, and when on occasion (in the interest of time) we instead have taken him into the shower with one of us, he runs to the other bathroom and stands by “his” bathtub, clearly hoping that he still gets to take a bath, too. (No such luck, son. HA!)

We fall more in love every day …. and our respect for the Ust baby house grows deeper every day. We adopted a happy, healthy, well-adjusted little boy, and we have an entire baby house staff to thank for that.

As I mentioned above, our big “first” was our first trip to the International Adoption Clinic at Children’s Hospital last Monday, where Max had an extensive four-hour evaluation. We are so fortunate to have this resource ten minutes from our home. The IAC provided a Russian-speaking translator, which came in very handy for the occupational therapy portion of his evaluation. She gave him all of his instructions – things like “point to the doll’s eyes”, “kick the ball”, “put the cheerio into the little bottle”, etc.

Being the experts that they are, the IAC team waited until the very end to introduce needles, conducting his TB test and drawing about a dozen vials of blood. Max was a total trooper until that moment, which also happened to coincide with lunch time. We were also tired and hungry by the end of the appointment, so we felt his pain.

We received a lot of preliminary assessments that morning, and have since received some test results, with more to follow.

Developmentally, he is testing “normal” in virtually everything (again, thank you, Ust baby house), except for a few minor things, and Children’s equipped us with suggestions of how to help him along. On the weight and height charts, he is at the 5% and 10% points respectively, and the doctor feels confident he will increase in both areas over the next six months. We are working with him on “nurturing” behaviors – he seemingly had no idea what to do with a doll and a baby bottle, despite being encouraged to “feed the baby” over and over again. He also wouldn’t clap his hands, which he now already does on command, and he is learning his body parts, like nose, ears, eyes, and toes. He is slightly behind in speech, as we suspected, but over the last few days, his babbling has really picked up, so we suspect that with a lot of one-on-one conversation and singing time, this will catch up as well. If not, we know we are in great hands with the IAC, and they will help us find additional assistance if we need it.

Max did come home with a parasite – not at all unusual for the circumstances. The blastocystis hominis parasite is detected via stool samples (oh, is that ever fun), and although he is not exhibiting any noticeable symptoms, we have chosen, with our doctor’s guidance, to treat him with an antibiotic. Apparently the manufactured version tastes horribly, with little possibility for masking the taste with food, so we had it specially made at a speciality pharmacy into a toddler-friendly formula. Max walks around with his mouth open when he sees the bottle, so we are having no problems getting it into his little body 3 times a day for 10 days. He’ll be re-tested then, and we’ll decide from there if there is an additional course of action.

All of his major blood-based tests (HIV, Hep A, B, C, Anemia, TB) came back negative. He is currently exhibiting a deficiency in a particular hemoglobin, but over time he will have to be re-tested to determine to what degree the trait is really present vs. potentially being currently impacted by malnourishment. We’ll re-test him in 6 months, and proceed with “business as usual” in the meantime.

With each passing day, Max does grow slightly more particular about the foods he will eat. Is there a chance that it’s because he realizes that there actually are choices? We are trying not to give in to every whim, but to be honest, we’re still just trying to figure out what he will eat and what he won’t. Just when I think I have something figured out – for example, “no sauces or dips” – he’ll down a plate of hummus. I think he’s already having fun keeping us guessing!

While we are all settling in nicely, the transition for me from “lots of free time” to “no free time” has been difficult at times. I am already trying to work a bit each afternoon during Max’s nap, stretching my vacation time out over a longer period of time. That time that I might otherwise be devoting to blogging, or emails, or writing thank you notes (oh my, am I ever behind!) is instead being used for work. I miss the ability to get a lot more done in a day, but when Max reaches for me from his crib with a giant smile on his face every afternoon as he wakes from his nap, all is right in the world! I still haven't decided exactly when I will go back to work full-time, but I am estimating it to be during the first part of August.

We’ll close with some photos. It is so hard to get a good photo of him. He scowls at the sight of the camera, but of course perks up as soon as he can look at the photo of himself in the digital viewfinder. That reminds me – he does seem to have a vanity issue. LOL. He’ll even stare at his own reflection in the oven door!

More updates soon! We’re still out here cheering on all of the waiting families!

Max in "recovery" mode right after having what seemed like gallons of blood drawn at the IAC.

Fully recovered, as he enjoys his post-IAC lunch at IHOP. He has been at multiple restaurants already (and I swear it hasn't always been IHOP -- HA!), and he does amazingly well provided he is in a high chair.

Bonding with my mom. Max was carrying around a hand-held poker game, pretending it was a phone. My mom, a retired minister who is not a fan of gambling, went to the toy store and bought him an Elmo phone so we could put away the poker game.
Now, I swear I hear Elmo in my sleep. :-)

We usually let him feed himself breakfast every day, and depending on the day and food, he feeds himself alot of meals. Letting him feed himself ensures twice the time and twice the mess, but he is missing his mouth less and less each day.

I'm a sucker for kids in footie pajamas, so I had to include this picture for the cuteness factor! Auntie Leenie gave him this wagon and "lego-like" blocks, and he loves to pull it around and around the house.

Taking his medicine, often times his favorite food of the day!

Eating pizza at his first Reds game. He clapped and cheered along as the Reds won, and he loved the July 3 fireworks display after the game.

Hanging out, making cell phone calls, in his big-boy shirt. This is one busy kid! :-)