Moving Right Along...

We’re still moving right along. Tuesday was a big milestone in that we had to decide on names for our children, and then we went to the notary to sign power of attorney paperwork that in part starts the process of issuing the children new birth certificates listing us as parents. While we were relatively certain that we had settled in on a girl name, we were still perusing all of the lists people sent to me (THANK YOU) and paging through People Magazine that morning!! We’ll wait to announce their full names until after court, since we are using variations of their current names as their middle names. But, we will share that our children will be known as Allie and Sam. So, we’ll have Allie, Max, and Sam. We think it has a nice ring to it!

Because of the notary visit, we switched up the order of our visits with Allie and Sam, and we visited the baby house in the morning, with the Hustons and the Coles. We were all in one big visitation room together, and while it was a bit chaotic, it was great to see all of our kids together. Well, except for Allie of course, who is at a different orphanage, and the Cole’s son, who was sick and could only be visited by his parents for a short time separately from the rest of us. We are now being required to wear surgical masks when we visit the baby house, as is often the case in the winter months. It’s understandable, but really frustrating, because the kids can’t see our faces and it sure makes it tough to give impromptu skin-to-skin kisses. But then again, I guess that’s the point! As is the case with Max, we really look forward to staying in touch with these families so that Sam grows up knowing the little peeps with whom he shared his first year of life. We think we’ve already found at least one of Allie’s past roomies, too!

Sam:

Sam’s latest joy is a Xylophone. (Heather Mulvaney, there’s an inside joke here for you – HA HA!). There are a couple of them in the play room, and we happen to have a little stick thing with us that is part of a wooden instrument that we brought for Max. Sam loves music, and we play a little musical toy and he beats on the Xylophone as the music plays. He is such a laid-back little boy and he can stay focused on one activity like the Xylophone or the stacking rings for long periods of time. He’s almost always sitting in one of our laps, just folded back into us as he plays. Perhaps it’s because of the contrast we have every day between Sam and Allie, or perhaps it’s because we think back to Max during our visits with him, when Max was barely expressive at this point in the bonding period, but we continue to marvel at how amazing Sam is. Just a great little boy who is just a perfect fit for our family – he must have devilish things in mind for us down the road, but he sure is making it easy on us now!

Allie:

We’ll catch you up on the last two visits with Allie, as they are vastly different. On Monday, we watched as Allie started truly mimicking Max – how Max folds into my lap, how Max hugs and kisses me, and how he engages in play (when he is willing to get out of my lap). At one point, we had balloons (huge hits!) flying through the air, and Max went into a giggles fit which was mostly driven by his slap-happy mood (not a great night a sleep the night before). I’m sure if you have a toddler you know what I mean – a belly laugh that goes on a bit longer than is natural, but hilarious just the same. All of a sudden, Allie just started copying Max, laughing and giggling really loudly, throwing her head back as she laughed, and showing us the most incredible joy that we were sure was in there somewhere, but that was anyone’s guess when’d we’d see it. Here’s where God’s irony really kicks in – if you’re called to adopt a 4-year-old, it turns out that having another almost-4-year-old along for the ride is a really good idea! We are staring to figure out that we probably won’t be teaching Allie anything once she is home – Max will be doing all of the teaching.

I then played a game where I would lay on the floor and pretend to be asleep, and I could only wake up if I got a kiss from one of the kids. The kids proceeded to take turns kissing me, and I would then jump up and give out a big hug. Allie took her cues from Max, and I started receiving my first “natural” hugs and kisses from my little girl. She’s in there. She’s definitely in there.

When I can, I try to capture a picture of the two kids on the floor playing together. They never actually play "together", but sometimes they are in the same vicinity of one another.

That took us to Tuesday, when we had the afternoon visit, and as we arrived, we found out that she is sick. (Now, this could be interesting, given all of the germs we’ve been sharing over the last week – I’m now double-dosing on Airborne, and I have the “just-in-case” antibiotics prescribed for Max lined up and ready if needed). She was lying down in her room when we arrived, according to the translator, who went to her room and asked her if she still wanted to see us. She said yes, and came into the room looking half-asleep, feeling hot, and pretty much out of it. She spent the entire visit in my lap, as I held her, and whispered terms of endearment to her, and sang to her. (In the meantime, Max fell asleep in the van on the way to the orphanage, and he slept through the entire visit on the couch in the room). Not your typical visit – Max sound asleep, Glenn and the translator chatting, and me on the floor, holding our little girl in my lap the entire time. I am NOT a singer, and when under pressure, I can’t remember a kids’ song to save my life, but I ran through every Christmas song I could think of, with a few Billy Joel tunes tossed in. At one point, I asked the translator to ask Allie if I should stop (as Glenn likely said a simultaneous prayer, willing Allie to screech, “STOP SINGING!”). But, Allie wanted me to continue, so I did. Max would have never let me sing to him for an hour+ straight! We are so happy that they let us visit her – that would not have been the case in the baby house – and it gave me a chance to explain to her (through the translator) that once she is at home, Mama and Papa will always take care of her if she is sick.

Allie's orphanage is really decorating for New Year's, These decorations are typical of what we are seeing inside and outside of the orphanage.

This was taken outside of Allie's orphanage. It's great to see that even in the cold weather, they bundle the kids up and get them outside to play. They had several sled-like things and they were taking turns pushing each other around. Max actually watched for a long time -- I could tell he was longing to go play with them, but he also wasn't leaving our sides.

Max:

Max is Max. What more can we say? We pick our battles very carefully with him, and as a result, there are very few battles. He is more or less sleeping through the night, although he’s still not sleeping in to the degree that he does at home when given the chance. So, he pretty much naps every day, either right when we come home from the morning visit, or during the afternoon visit, because he always falls asleep on the way to Sam’s baby house if he hasn’t napped beforehand. We are now feeding Max every meal in the room, and then if we choose to go out to dinner, he can play and keep himself relatively busy while we enjoy dinner. We do try to go out to dinner often so as to not be shut-in, and we love the Coles and the Hustons. While it would be great to be able to walk everywhere like we did 2 ½ years ago, it’s really not practical, between Max’s short legs and the cold weather. So, we have grown accustomed to taking a taxi out, particularly if it is really chilly, and it’s been easy to get a taxi back to the hotel. Fortunately, every taxi driver in town knows The Shiny River.

By now, I expected Max to flat out refuse to leave the hotel room, crying for his friends, his teachers, his pets, his home, his grandma, his toys, his shower, etc. The fact that we are approaching two weeks into this journey and that behavior hasn’t surfaced is quite frankly shocking to me. And I don’t for one minute take for granted how blessed we are in that regard. Even his whiny clingy behavior (most prevalent during Allie’s visits) is tolerable because that’s just about the only time that his alter ego appears. Most other times, he’s just a typical toddler who is more than going with the flow.

If I look directly down during our visits with Allie, this is what I typically see. :-)

The only way to control the heat in our room is to open a window to a blast of Arctic air.

Instead, we often just opt for clothing-optional.

Another typical scene at The Shiny River...

All bundled up to venture outside for a walk to dinner.

Other tidbits:

In case it isn’t obvious, it’s not exactly “roughing it” at the Shiny River. We have a nice big room and bathroom with hot and cold water every day, a big breakfast buffet, the ability to cook in the room, we send almost all of our laundry out to be cleaned (same day service), daily housekeeping, etc. It’s not inexpensive to stay here, but it has been the right move for our family.

Now that we’ve settled into a routine, I am starting to work at least a little bit each evening – usually between 8 PM and midnight or so. I can go downstairs to a little business center, where I can Skype with colleagues, do project work, etc. It’s a tough decision, as that is also our only real down time as a family, time to blog, etc. But with no paid time off other than vacation time, I am trying not to burn through vacation for this entire trip so that I have some vacation time left for when I am off work with the kids when they come home.

We have to buy a car – at least one. We’re hopeful that a car seat and two boosters might fit in my Avalon, but if not, we might need to buy two cars. Arrrrgghhhhhh!!!!! We’ll be looking at used cars – all recommendations are welcome!

My birthday is tomorrow. And, that is the day we sign all of our final adoption papers. Happy birthday to me!!