Closing in on two weeks!

Faithful blog readers, please accept our apologies for the massive time caverns between posts. Between exhaustion, technological challenges (both lack of Internet, and the work-arounds required because Blogger is often blocked), crazy schedules, and a 4-year-old to entertain, it’s been tough to find the energy to blog. Add to that the fact that every day melts into the next, and I find it’s been more challenging for me to keep up the blog than it was when we traveled for Max. But, enough about my whining (although I revert back to it at the end of this post - ha!), let’s jump into the update that you surely tuned in for in the first place.

Allie (and Max):

We continue to see our daughter blossom right before our eyes. She is talking more and more, and becoming much more relaxed around us. She now loves to give and receive hugs, and she has the deepest most sincere belly-laugh when we play silly games or tickle her. As she continues to come out of her shell, Max becomes more committed to his alter-ego, and he becomes shockingly whiny and needy. Today (Saturday), I thought I would lose my mind. We all had a restless night Friday night, following a great birthday celebration that evening with the other families, and for whatever reason (too much chocolate cake?), Max was up for much of the night Friday night. I was tired, slightly hung-over, and I forgot to bring the two police cars that Max likes to play with during our visits – and Max spent the first 20 minutes whining about those cars. It’s really interesting to watch Allie during Max’s craziness – she truly just ignores him. I have a sad feeling that any extreme emotions one way or the other may go largely ignored (and certainly discouraged) in the orphanage. But, Max finally bounced out of it long enough for us to sit on the floor and all play in the same vicinity of one another.

I repeat again that Glenn is just amazing during our visits with Allie – he is on the floor with her putting pony tail holders into her horse’s mane, playing dress-up with some awesome Colorform dolls that Michele let us borrow, and partaking in endless tea parties. On the other hand, I am participating in police chases with Max. Whatever it takes, whatever it takes.

On Friday, we had a short but fun adventure with Allie, as we got to take her to get her passport photo taken. We pulled up at the orphanage, and she was already standing outside, all bundled up, holding our translator’s hand. She climbed in the van, which gave the Coles and the Hustons a chance to meet her. She sat stoically in Glenn’s lap (because Max claimed my lap as soon as he figured out that Allie was getting into the van with us!), and it was hard to tell what was going through her mind. We got to the photographer’s office, and stripped off her winter gear from the waist up so a couple of quick pictures could be snapped. I was of course yelling “smile” as the coordinator and the photographer were admonishing me that she had to have a serious face. I then pulled out my camera to capture the moment, at which point I was reprimanded again. Sheesh, where’s the joy, people?! We had a chance to quickly show Sam’s passport picture to Allie, as we were picking those up from the photographer who the day before had visited the baby house in person to take the little ones’ pictures. Allie seemingly showed no recognition of Sam at all – so sad! We were in and out of the place in five minutes, and then went back to the orphanage to play.

As Allie talks and interacts more, we are really coming to realize how strange it is going to be for her when we are on our own, without an interpreter. We have a feeling that she will retreat back into her shell for awhile, and we’ll work hard as a family to help us all communicate while she is learning English. She has been “diagnosed” as being severely developmentally delayed, and we are so anxious to bring her home to get her the assistance that she (might) need. (As those of us who have adopted internationally know, the diagnoses we receive in country aren't always accurate). The environment and experience now isn’t real by any stretch of the imagination, so it’s not really possible for us to really be able to tell what her special needs are, if any. In so many ways, she has already blown past Max as far as her coloring and drawing and creativity with modeling clay, the Colorform dolls, her pony-tail dexterity, etc. We know that she will flourish in a family!

No fair critiquing my attempt to draw our "family." But do feel free to comment on how perfectly my little girl is holding her pencil!

Sam:

We had an extraordinary experience with a caretaker on Saturday. As I mentioned before, we “bond” in a room that was formerly a baby room. A caretaker who used to work in this now-closed-down room saw the light on, and came in to find out why the room was in use. It turns out that she worked in the baby room when Sam was in that very room, AND, she took care of Max who was in that very same room 4 years ago! We weren’t sure if Max had been in that baby room or not, since he was already in the 1-year-old room when we first met him. We talked to this lovely woman for a really long time (with Olga’s interpreting help), and she told us a lot about Max as a baby and Sam as a baby. She had tears in her eyes, and so did I!! We took pictures of her holding Sam, and she promised to come back again to hopefully catch Max awake, as he was asleep through Sam’s entire visit on Saturday. I hugged her so tight and through my tears thanked her for taking such good care of my boys when they were babies. What a moment -- I will always and forever cherish it.

In the meantime, Sam’s visits truly do just blend all together. We play and giggle and dance (have introduced the IPod and Christmas tunes via a portable speaker) and hug and kiss and the time flies by. I know I keep saying it, but these visits are so vastly different than our visits with Allie – in large part because Max often sleeps through them, but also because we already know how to bond and play with a toddler, and we’re still figuring out how to do so with Allie. Glenn was tossing Sam up in the air and he started giggling and laughing – and I heard his sister’s laugh in him! I cannot wait to reunite these kids!!!

The woman in these pictures is the representative of the Guardianship Council. She swings by most days to check on us. She was also our representative for Max, and we really like her. We wish it was easier to communicate with her! She will be with us in court, hopefully saying really nice things about us. :-)

Max:

Max is growing up right before our eyes. Not only is he about to turn 4 (what?!?!), but he seems to have figured out that he has to be a big boy and do grown-up stuff on this trip. Okay, admittedly, he regresses to the mind and body of a 2-year-old when we are visiting Allie, but the rest of the time (or at least, most of the time), he is acting mature beyond his little 4-year-old body, entertaining himself day in and day out, enduring hours-long dinners, drinking weird tasting milk and eating weird tasting bread (to him anyway), bundling-up and un-bundling multiple times a day, etc., etc., etc, all while out of his typical routine and absent any contact whatsoever with other kids other than his new (mostly ignored) brother and sister. He is really taking this experience in, and I wish his verbal skills could keep up with his little mind, as I’d love to be able to capture in his own words what this trip has meant to him. (Alas, I think he would probably mostly talk about the van, the taxis, and Mr. Itch – the name he has now given Mitch). But, if I can catch him in just the right mood, I think I’ll try to get him to tell the story, and we’ll see what we get. We are just so proud of him, and we’re counting on that resiliency to turbo-charge once he realizes that he’s sharing his house with Allie and Sam – forever.

What's so great about this picture: a) Mr. Itch fashioned these chopsticks for Max, and he loves using them (while his mom and dad use a fork); b) this was my multiple hour birthday dinner, and Max hung in there like a champ; and c) (most shocking), he is putting a vegetable into his mouth. Admittedly, it is deep fried cauliflower, but it's a vegetable none-the-less! Veggies do not otherwise pass the lips of this child.

Us:

We’re hanging in there. We have good days and bad, and the experience is just so very different in the winter and with a 4-year-old along. We can’t just “go for a long walk”, or “sightsee” or “shop” the way we did when we were here 2 ½ years ago. I also can’t work in the evenings as freely as I did, and that is stressing me out, both because of my disappearing vacation balance and the work piling up. There are still many things we’d like to see and do, but when it comes time to bundle up Max (and carry him off) to see and do those things, our energy level often doesn’t match our plans. We also have our moments of fear/anxiety/what-the-hell-are-we-doing-adopting-two-kids?, but we of course power through them. I continue to say that my mood is primarily impacted by three things: whether the Internet is working, whether the sun is shining, and whether or not I make time to exercise. (I would now add to that list, “how much wine I drank the night before” – ha! -- but I don't plan to EVER drink Georgian red wine again). We want to be enthusiastic about staying through Christmas, and I have thought often about waking up at The Shiny River on Christmas morning, but honestly, if we can get home sooner, we will. And, we feel guilty for feeling that way – for jumping at the chance to go home, which means leaving Allie and Sam that much sooner. In case it’s not clear from reading between the lines – I might be a bit of a mess from time to time. :-) Fortunately, I am surrounded -- literally and virtually -- by people who totally understand the ups and downs in this process, and I never stop feeling so fortunate to have so much support from our friends and family.

Well, I'm off to think about Max's birthday party! I can't wait to go to the bakery to pantomime "Toy Story cake please".