Did you blink? We have a court date!

Wow, had it really been almost a week since I last blogged? One day is truly blending into the next – time is seemingly at a standstill, yet I look up and five days has passed. We’re living in some type of suspended reality/twilight zone!

So, the big news of the week – bonding is complete and we have a court date!

We officially finished bonding on Monday. Fifteen days of twice daily visits with each of our kids is officially over. On that 15^th day, our coordinator applied for a court date, and it was fitting that our translator received a call the next day during Max’s birthday party, confirming that our court date is December 21st. So, from the time we started bonding until the time we are going court is 3 weeks plus 1 day. I’ve had my challenges with our coordinator, particularly on this trip, but there is no denying that she is a bulldog when it comes to getting us through this process. There are other people in our hotel with other agencies who are in total limbo, unsure when they will move to the “next” step. For us, those steps are clear and concise.

After careful consideration, lengthy Skype calls with Delta and Air Astana, and calculating the pros and cons (including the intangibles of leaving our children earlier than planned, and the tangible calculations of change fees along with the offsetting savings if we leave Ust), we have decided to come home immediately after court. As in, truly immediately thereafter. We will go to court on the morning of the 21^st, and we will fly to Almaty that afternoon. We will spend the night in Almaty, and then we should be on our final stretch home Wednesday morning. This will be so bittersweet, as we will not see our kids on the day that we (prayers great here, but we have every reason to believe all will be fine) should be granted the adoption of these two beautiful children. Some of our my favorite pictures of our journey to Max are those that we took the afternoon of our court appearance, when we were finally his parents. No such parents for Allie and Sam. Sigh.

Allie:

The day following our last day of bonding was the day we held Max’s birthday party – we planned it that way so that we had some flexibility with our visits. Max and Glenn went to see Sam together in the morning, and I went to see Allie by myself. Not only was this intended to give us afternoon time for Max’s party, but it also gave me much craved time alone with Allie. And, it was heavenly. I finally got a glimpse into what it will be like when we are home, one-on-one together, presumably while Max is back in school, and Sam is taking a nap (a girl can dream right?!). I enjoyed my time alone with her so much that over the next few days, I encouraged Glenn and Max to stay home a couple of mornings, and I headed to the orphanage by myself again. (In reality, while Glenn missed Allie, I think they were both happy to have a break in the morning routine).

When finally alone with Allie, I could finally start to really talk to her (through Ayana) about coming to America, living in a new house “with Papa, Mama, Max and Sully”, etc. I’ve made her a little calendar page and have tried to explain to her that we will be leaving soon, and that we will come back for her in a few weeks. Just like any 4-year-old, my well-crafted and originally illustrated story becomes uninteresting to her about 5 seconds into it when she spots the Legos across the room (“oh look, something shiny!” HA).

I also started to encourage her to say a few English words, and she is very, very stubborn. It’s likely to be challenging, but I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that she will eventually learn to speak English. It might be a bit frustrating for the weeks and months before she decides life will be easier if she speaks English, but I know she will get there.

Interestingly, the caretakers cut her hair – again. This is the second time in the 3 weeks that we’ve been visiting that they cut her hair! So, we can’t put as many hair doo-dads in her hair right now. Trying not to worry about it – she’ll be home soon enough, and then only I get to choose when to cut her hair -- that is, until she grabs a pair of scissors when I’m not looking, which my friends with girls assures me will happen. :-)

I don't have any recent pictures of her that hide her identity, so I'm including a few pictures from a couple of days leading up to our final official bonding days.

Sam:

Here I go again, trying to come up with new and exciting and witty things to say about our little guy, but I swear, we just hang out and have the same fun day in and day out. I’m not spending a lot of time trying to “teach” him anything, as our personal experience with Max illustrated that our true bonding and teaching will happen once we are home. Sam has been fighting a bit of a cold, so we have had to visit him in the “sick room” for the last couple of days. That’s a bit challenging, as there are no additional toys, we have to wear masks, and we aren’t permitted to let him touch the floor. Trying to cuddle a squirmy 20-month-old in your lap who really isn’t all that sick is not exactly easy! Max and Glenn finally resorted to playing out in the hall, as Max refuses to consistently wear his mask. Fortunately, Sam likes to dance and spin around with me, so we've resorted to using the IPod and our portable speakers to keep things lively (and off the floor).

Here are a few pictures taken before Sam headed to the sick bay.

Max:

As mentioned earlier, we had a fun birthday celebration for Max at the bowling alley. He decided after a couple of tries that bowling was too “flusterating”, and then he was completely content to spend the next two hours standing by the ball return and arranging each ball for whomever was up next. We really had a good time, bowling two games and eating some great food (and perhaps guzzling a few adult beverages, too). The bowling alley was actually very accommodating, helping us to put tables together, and even seemingly looking the other way when we lit the candles on the cake in the non-smoking bowling alley. We might otherwise have really stood out as the loud, obnoxious, partying Americans – EXCEPT there was some type of women’s banquet going on at the same time, complete with a sit-down luncheon and a PowerPoint presentation. When the luncheon broke up, all of the women filled the rest of the alleys in the place, and we’re still a bit surprised that we someone ended up there on a day that only two other lanes were available, and we had them! Anyway, apparently most of these women had never bowled before, and I lost count at 10 women falling flat on their backs. For the one and only time in the existence of Americans visiting Ust, we were the stare-ers rather than the stare-ees.

The bakery did a great job with our Buzz Lightyear cake. It's such a shame that these beautiful Kaz cakes aren't really cakes, but are instead layers of what seems to be pie crust and whipped cream. I've decided that baking soda is unavailable in Ust.

I love our Ust peeps -- notice that everyone is wearing a party hat, except for the birthday boy.

The food was really great at the bowling alley! No English menu, so thank goodness Olga was willing to work a bit during the party!

Max gave bowling the old college try, a couple of times....

For the most part, Max continues to behave beyond our expectations, going with the flow, entertaining himself really well, and growing up right before our eyes (as long as we're not in an orphanage). We’ve had some fun watching Wonder Pets and other Nickelodean shows on our TV, dubbed in Russian, and then Max pretends to speak Russian. As far as his sleeping patterns, we’ve given up expecting him to get into his “normal” sleep routine. Instead, we are simply counting down the days until he is sleeping in his own bed. We are also now looking forward to having Christmas at home with him – as much as I had romanticized the idea of Christmas in Ust, we’re now excited to have Christmas at home.

Other Ust goings-on:

We enjoyed another hockey night, this time watching the “A” Ust team play a team from Russia. The arena was about 80% full, and there were plenty of people cheering and shouting, to the point that Mitch and I didn’t even stand out in the crowd. Well, that is until I attempted to take a picture, as which point a police office tapped me on the shoulder and told me to put the camera away. We saw a great game – Ust fell behind 3-1, then tied it up, then fell behind 4-3, but then tied it up again at 4. After a 4-on-4 overtime period, they went to a shoot-out, and the Ust boys prevailed. A great night all around! The only group picture was captured outside afterwards, where apparently it's not illegal to take pictures.

Kazakhstan celebrated its Independence Day on Thursday, December 16. The formal celebration was scheduled from 10 AM - Noon on the Main Square, so we arranged to skip our trip to see Allie so that we could join in on the festitivities. There was a very organized series of events on a big stage, with a great sound-system and projection screens on both sides of the stage. There were school children performing dances that were really well choreographed, and a flag corp of older children performing at the street level. Various dignitaries made speeches and eventually, an adult choir sang the national anthem while the screens displayed a Kazak flag billowing in the breeze. It was all really moving to me, and I even had chills. But, a quick scan of the crowd revealed that I might have been the most moved by the events of the day. First of all, there really weren’t very many people at the celebration, and secondly, although everyone showed respect, I can’t really say that anyone seemed moved to emotion, applause, etc. I was expecting more robust signs of national pride.

We let Max ride a donkey. That is, we let him sit on the donkey, which refused to move.

Once the people in charge started to beat the donkey, trying to get the poor thing to take a step, I grabbed Max and we bolted.

I’ve also picked up my work pace, which has been a much needed distraction and stress-release (as weird as that sounds). I’ve either been heading downstairs to the business center, or I head to the elevator lobby area on our floor. One night, I was in that area from 10:30 PM – 1:30 AM, and I had a chance to observe first-hand how many people come and go from this hotel at that hour. The stories I could tell …. but what goes on at They Shiny River, stays at The Shiny River.

We have perfected creating a meal on our one-burner hot-plate. We had pasta the other night that might be the best Italian food you can find in Ust. We buy fresh garlic from the lady at the produce stand right behind our hotel, and I am stunned that there wasn't a line outside of our door as our cuisine scents drifted through our hotel hallway!

We finally visited the local "fast food" restaurant, Donor, which has a small children's play area. It's a great lunch-time spot, but because we never go out for lunch, we hadn't made time for this restaurant. On our way home from the Independence Day celebration, we stopped in for lunch, and Max was so happy. He very quickly found a couple of friends -- trains and cars are the universal language of 4-year-olds.

You can’t get a straight answer out of anyone regarding the future of adoption in Kaz. We know that our translator is looking for another job, and our driver suddenly disappeared one day, having sold his van to someone else, who is now driving us to and from the orphanage. I asked our Coordinator what she was going to do after the first of the year, and I got her perfected answer: “I don’t know.” Our agency is managing to bring in two more families before the end of the year. Yet another fun-fact, given all of the pressure we received upon our arrivial, because “you are the last family into Ust, and we have no idea when any other families will be back in Ust for adoption, if any.” Things are of course working out for us now, but when I discover yet another untruth (dare I say “lie”?), it irritates the crap out of me. (Deep breaths, Karen -- get over it!)

Onward to court!