Halfway mark in official bonding!

Believe it or not, we are now at the half-way mark of our bonding time with the kids. Those first few days when we were dazed and confused counted towards the 14 days – we have our own special way of counting in Kaz. It’s a magical place!

I think I’ll copy a format used by another family whose blog I followed recently, and I’ll give a bit of a report on each of our children, and then our stay in general.

Fina:

Fina is really coming out of her shell. They are telling us that she is talking more and more to her caretakers and her roommates, and we are starting to hear a word here and there seemingly directed at us, instead of the translator. To be honest, I worry about her around the other kids – wouldn’t they be horribly jealous of all of the attention she is receiving, the toys she has, etc., and wouldn’t they be mean to her because of it? Seriously, don’t you just wonder what the “real” dynamics are in the orphanage for the 22 hours that we aren’t there??

The hair goodies are such a huge hit. We spend a lot of time putting in clips and pony tail holders, taking them out, brushing her hair, putting them back in, etc. She must pay close attention to the caretakers when they do her hair or the hair of the other girls, because she can put in her own pigtails and/or a pony tail like a pro! (Most certainly better than I can – but I am learning!) A couple of times today, she came over to me (I am typically on the floor with Max in my lap), said “Mama”, and handed me a pony tail holder so that I could put a pig tail in her hair. Just to hear her little voice mutter “Mama” was priceless. She has also been coloring at least part of each of our visits -- she keeps totally and completely in the lines – eons ahead of Max! --and now she says “Mama” and points to the page so that I can shout words of encouragement (or at least the one Kazak word I know for “good job”) when she is finished. It’s going to be such a challenge to communicate with her once we are home, and I’m pretending there’s no such thing as a 30-hour journey home first. But, we just have to figure it out, and we know we have so many friends in our adoption family who will give us guidance and suggestions. I have to believe that she remembers calling someone else “Mama” earlier in her life, and I just wonder what is going on in her brain.

Fina seems just as comfortable playing with girly-girly things as she does the little hockey game in the visitation room, and the trucks and cars we bring along. Yep, she's clearly my daughter. :-)

Both Fina and Max love playing with balloons during our visits, and Max has actually mastered the act of blowing one up himself.

Sully:

We are seriously going to run of out things to write about our visits with Sully. He’s just a darling little boy who likes cars, stacking rings, and books. He is completely content to sit with us and play with whatever toys we put in front of him. Today, when our translator brought him to us, I was already sitting on the floor waiting for him. He turned around, walked backwards towards me, and just plopped his little bum down in my lap. And that’s where he stayed for the first 15 minutes are so, and I just rocked him and snuggled on him and gave him the love and care that every 19-month-old deserves to have all day long. He smiles, smirks, and giggles through the entire visit. I cannot wait to be able to share some of the video we have of him – he’s a total crack-up!

Heritage:

A couple of people have asked about the kids’ heritage (a question that does not bother me one bit), given my mention of the Kazak language. I’m not sure how it works at the pre-school orphanage, as we haven’t been anywhere but the visitation room, but in the baby house, they now separate the kids by heritage (Russian or Kazak/mixed), and the kids in the Kazak room are spoken to in Kazak so that the learn that language. This is a relatively recent practice, as this was not the case when we adopted Max. I am guessing it’s the same in the pre-school orphanage, as Fina definitely speaks Kazak, not Russian. The kids’ birthmother is either Russian or Ukranian, but their birth fathers are believed to be Kazak. Hence, they are being raised with their Kazak peers, caretakers, and language in their respective orphanages. Sully’s skin is very fair, while Fina’s skin is slightly more olive in tone. I can’t decide how much the kids actually look alike, even when staring at side-by-side pics of them. I guess we’ll let our readers decide when we have the big reveal in a week or so!

Max:

I have to take care to give credit where credit is due. Despite being in my face at most times during the visits with our kids, Max is otherwise a complete and total trooper. I keep waiting for him to just flatly refuse to put his coat on as we prepare for yet another trip to one of the orphanages, and instead, he is often the first to the door. Fortunately, he absolutely loves riding in the van, so he is always ready to “go meet our friends (the other couples) and get in the van.” He loves both of the other couples, but he has with no doubt developed a special bond with Mitch, and he truly enjoys seeing everybody every single morning.

Mitch, teaching Max how to use his chop sticks -- something he's not likely to learn from his Mom and Dad. HA! Mitch even fashioned a device that made it easy for Max to use his chopsticks, and he ate most of a granola bar bit by bit with his chopsticks!

Today, after Fina called me Mama a couple of times, Max said to me “Mommy, are you still MY Mommy?” Poor little guy, this must be so freakin’ confusing for him!! I of course loved on him and reassured him, and I continue to love on him even when he regresses into some ridiculously baby-like behaviors. I am happy to report that this only happens at the orphanages, and he's pretty much settling into the little guy that we know and love (especially now that he is sleeping) at most other times.

"There's a place dowtown where the freaks all come around..."

What goes on in Club 301, stays in Club 301. :-)

Max slept until 7:30 AM on Sunday morning – the first time he’s made it past 3:30! He didn’t nap at all between visits, and instead fell asleep in the van on the way to Sully’s visit. Glenn carried him up to the visitation area, which is actually a former “baby” room that is no longer needed because not as many babies are in the baby house. (They are being adopted by local families much more freqently now). Glenn laid Max down in one of the big square play pens and he slept through the entire visit. What’s really weird/ironic/cool/creepy is that Max might very well have played in that exact play pen when he was a baby! I was worried he would wake up and freak out, but he slept through the entire visit. Glenn carried him back out to the van, still asleep, and he finally came out of his slumber once we were back in the hotel room. As we were eating dinner, he suddenly announced, “We forgot to go visit my wittle brudder!”

Speaking of dinner, we are on the Great Hot Plate Adventure, Take 2. I bought a hot plate from a little store at the market – an applicance that is actually wired for this country’s voltage – and we cooked dinner in our room. The local supermarket has plenty of pasta selections, and I found a Heinz sauce that had enough English on the label to note that is was pasta sauce. Using my Russian dictionary, I found butter in the store, and I bought wine using price (not too cheap, not too expensive) and label artwork as my only means of selection. We had a really nice pasta dinner with fresh bread and wine, right in our little hotel room – and we didn’t even knock out the power .to the city in doing so. It is fantastic to get out to dinner with the other families, but it’s good to have the option of not taking Max out to a restaurant every night.

We closed out the night with a Skype call with Salina. I miss being with her right now so much, and I am so thankful for the Internet and our ability to connect “face to face.” And I am so overwhelmingly proud of her as she fights through a ton of diversity on behalf of her beautiful children. Salina, I love you so much!!!!

It’s hard to believe that one week ago tonight, I was crying myself to sleep. We’re in a groove now, and I have two more kids.

What a week. What a week.